Relationships

[fishinjunky]

I'm curious about everyone's experience with relationships past an current.

I've dated a few girls after my injury. But I didn't like it. I hate the daily obligations of a relationship. I honestly like being alone. And this is going to sound extremely shallow but honnest. I have no feeling from chest down so sex is not enjoyable for me I just get frustrated and that turns into resentment. An without sex I just can't be happy in a relationship

[martin007]

I've never had a girlfriend.
Women attract me; I'm heterosexual.
I don't chase women.
Sex is fleeting.
Love is something temporary.
It's difficult to find your better half.
Most women refuse to start a relationship with a disabled person.

[acid_coke]

I also never was in a relationship, although I'd love to.

Most women refuse to start a relationship with a disabled person.

But if it happens once, it is said that she has a helpers syndrom/fetish. Whereas a guy with a disabled girlfriend is some kind of hero

[Burgerman]

I have had 1 long term girlfreind that I met online. And a couple that were local girls in my 24 years of being in a wheelchair. Barmaids, freind of freind, and one I met on a dating site online. She had no intention of there being any relationship with me, was looking to spend a couple of weeks outside of a nato bombed belgrade/eastern block former yugoslave republic. She just wanted to see what the world was like outside of the propaganda filled ex communist world she knew. The internet has a lot to answer for. She was here for 3 days before I decided that I liked her in "that way"... And basically started a relationship with her. And that lasted only 3 years. Then we lived in the same house for another 10. Sort of freinds with occasional benefits. She hated the wheelchair part and the restrictions it causes, only wanted someone to marry her and kids. She was 28 when I first met her and 30 when I invited her for a holiday in the west...

So no carer or other weird fetishes, nothing abnormal in any way. And even now after she eventually moved out and then married someone else she is still here 3 times a week filling my fridge with treats, and checking i am OK. Shes now 50... And very genuine honest and decent human being.

I've never had a girlfriend.
Women attract me; I'm heterosexual.
I don't chase women.

Why not? Those three things go together. I always chat up (chase?) women. Its actually easier in a wheelchair as you get the benefit of the doubt before they decide you are trying to hit on them! Half the battle is won.

Sex is fleeting.
Love is something temporary.
It's difficult to find your better half.

It can be. Frequently is. So what? Better to experience life than not doing so. Are you lacking confidence? That can be a killer and stop you in your tracks. I can talk to any girl I find attractive easily. And I am not afraid to be turned down. I have been sunk without trace more times than I care to remember. Much to the amusement of some of my mates who are still too scared to try at all. And I dont care. The girl is complemented even if she isnt interested. Nobody loses. But the odd one is interested. You will never know that unless you try. They are not going to chase you.

Most women refuse to start a relationship with a disabled person.

Thats true. Most. Not all. In the same way I wont start a relationship with a girl I am not attracted to. So that makes me hard to please. I like slim, petite attractive blue eyed blondes, and refuse to compromise. Brown eyes? Must be blue/grey. I know exactly what I like. I am very shallow! It works both ways then! A disability is only ONE part of you.

But most women isnt all women. Not all women are as shallow as you think. Or as me... I know this as I have had 3 relationships with perfectly normal girls since becoming disabled. 2 shorter ones (but still fun) and one longer live in one for a decade. All were enjoyable and sometimes difficult or painful, thats just life.

So in all, I dont think the chair or disability has much to do with it. Thats in YOUR mind and blown out of proportion. Its all about confidence and how you see yourself. And maybe because I wasnt disabled until 37, I still feel the same and have confidence. So no real problem getting girls if I want them. The main issue now is that on top of my other "preferences" I am now 62 and dont find anything beyond 30 to 35 attractive. So that means its MUCH harder to find what I want! My 2 cents.

[Burgerman]

I've dated a few girls after my injury. But I didn't like it. I hate the daily obligations of a relationship. I honestly like being alone. And this is going to sound extremely shallow but honnest. I have no feeling from chest down so sex is not enjoyable for me I just get frustrated and that turns into resentment. An without sex I just can't be happy in a relationship

Theres more to relationships than having sex. And there need not be any obligations at all. But there are ways. Just different. But again this is all your own personal choice. Nothing wrong with that.

[martin007]

I have had 1 long term girlfreind that I met online. And a couple that were local girls in my 24 years of being in a wheelchair. Barmaids, freind of freind, and one I met on a dating site online. She had no intention of there being any relationship with me, was looking to spend a couple of weeks outside of a nato bombed belgrade/eastern block former yugoslave republic. She just wanted to see what the world was like outside of the propaganda filled ex communist world she knew. The internet has a lot to answer for. She was here for 3 days before I decided that I liked her in "that way"... And basically started a relationship with her. And that lasted only 3 years. Then we lived in the same house for another 10. Sort of freinds with occasional benefits. She hated the wheelchair part and the restrictions it causes, only wanted someone to marry her and kids. She was 28 when I first met her and 30 when I invited her for a holiday in the west...

So no carer or other weird fetishes, nothing abnormal in any way. And even now after she eventually moved out and then married someone else she is still here 3 times a week filling my fridge with treats, and checking i am OK. Shes now 50... And very genuine honest and decent human being.

I've never had a girlfriend.
Women attract me; I'm heterosexual.
I don't chase women.

Why not? Those three things go together. I always chat up (chase?) women. Its actually easier in a wheelchair as you get the benefit of the doubt before they decide you are trying to hit on them! Half the battle is won.

Sex is fleeting.
Love is something temporary.
It's difficult to find your better half.

It can be. Frequently is. So what? Better to experience life than not doing so. Are you lacking confidence? That can be a killer and stop you in your tracks. I can talk to any girl I find attractive easily. And I am not afraid to be turned down. I have been sunk without trace more times than I care to remember. Much to the amusement of some of my mates who are still too scared to try at all. And I dont care. The girl is complemented even if she isnt interested. Nobody loses. But the odd one is interested. You will never know that unless you try. They are not going to chase you.

Most women refuse to start a relationship with a disabled person.

Thats true. Most. Not all. In the same way I wont start a relationship with a girl I am not attracted to. So that makes me hard to please. I like slim, petite attractive blue eyed blondes, and refuse to compromise. Brown eyes? Must be blue/grey. I know exactly what I like. I am very shallow! It works both ways then! A disability is only ONE part of you.

But most women isnt all women. Not all women are as shallow as you think. Or as me... I know this as I have had 3 relationships with perfectly normal girls since becoming disabled. 2 shorter ones (but still fun) and one longer live in one for a decade. All were enjoyable and sometimes difficult or painful, thats just life.

So in all, I dont think the chair or disability has much to do with it. Thats in YOUR mind and blown out of proportion. Its all about confidence and how you see yourself. And maybe because I wasnt disabled until 37, I still feel the same and have confidence. So no real problem getting girls if I want them. The main issue now is that on top of my other "preferences" I am now 62 and dont find anything beyond 30 to 35 attractive. So that means its MUCH harder to find what I want! My 2 cents.

I think I have not explained myself correctly.
The translation doesn't help either.

I wanted to say that I don't go begging women.
Some women think that because they have a good physique they are goddesses.
The physicist attracts me, but they have to be rational.
I'm rational and I do not like to mix with the irrational.

[Burgerman]

I wanted to say that I don't go begging women.
Me either!

Some women think that because they have a good physique they are goddesses.
Yes. So dont beg. There are plenty that are the opposite. Many that dont know how attractive/beautifil they are to you. And everything in between. If they are bitches ignore them.

The physicist attracts me, but they have to be rational.
There are rational sane normal women. Just not many! Many are a little how shall we say, hormone controlled. You learn to live with it and dont try to figure it out.

I'm rational and I do not like to mix with the irrational.
I dont do any kind of irrational. I run on logic and reason. Many women dont.

[steves1977uk]

I'd like a Kelly Brook lookalike as a girlfriend.

Steve

[fishinjunky]

I'd like a Kelly Brook lookalike as a girlfriend.

Steve

I second that one

[Burgerman]

Shes gonna need to lose 2 stone and do some excersize first. She was ok when younger.

Now shese 42, too fat, with 2 even more out of proportion boobs that do nothing for me. The only photos she still looks good in are old or after an hour in photoshop first. In real photos, its not too hot.

[fishinjunky]

Shes gonna need to lose 2 stone and do some excersize first. She was ok when younger.

Now shese 42, too fat, with 2 even more out of proportion boobs that do nothing for me. The only photos she still looks good in are old or after an hour in photoshop first. In real photos, its not too hot.

True

I wouldn't mind a rich Brazilian woman. They are all about the booty down there

[Burgerman]

Isnt that expressos thing?

I prefer this.
She is older, 44! And my ex gf sister. She is real, no photoshop needed...

[Swan T.W.]

Get a good dog.Way cheaper to kee[ happy.

[fishinjunky]

Isnt that expressos thing?

I prefer this.
She is older, 44! And my ex gf sister. She is real, no photoshop needed...

Can't argue that one. I would have to agree

[Burgerman]

Theres lots of girls around, young and older like my gf sister. She looks WAY younger than 44 though. Like 24. Never married, no kids, living in a former communist belgrade. All the men vanished to work overseas, and so she is still looking... Just look around you. Use dating sites etc. Many will be put off by chairs/disability, but not all. Would it have bothered you if it was the other way around? It wouldnt me.

I met many different girls this way online and around one in ten visited me here from my own country and 3 others. And most didnt work out. So what, you literally have nothing to lose by experimenting. Just be very honest up front. As for the frustration problem you mentioned, theres many ways to enjoy womens bodies. But you must be realistic here before you meet them. I am a honoury lesbian and have well developed skills!

[martin007]

Isnt that expressos thing?

I prefer this.
She is older, 44! And my ex gf sister. She is real, no photoshop needed...

Your girlfriend's sister is for dipping bread...

[Burgerman]

?

[martin007]

She's very good!

[Burgerman]

But not alone. Theres thousands like her all looking for a man. All wonderng why nobody is interested in them. Seriously.

[fishinjunky]

I'm still living in my able bodied past when it comes to relationships an sex. What happened was while I was in rehab right after my injury me an my physical therapist fell for each other we were both 23 years old an she was smoking hot with a amazing personality an completely open minded. But we lived so far from each other. The one time we had sex I became very upset an crying emotional it just all hit me at once with my injury. She was very understanding an completely open minded an I'm sure we would have figured out new ways to enjoy intimacy but with the distance it didn't work out an I've had a hard time getting over that one. Now I'm 36 an I'm not really looking but if I met someone like her again I would be open to dating again.

[Burgerman]

Good!