If you are modding, for sport, soccer etc, building off road and sound like you know what you are doing and wont hurt yourself or anyone else they generally have no prob. Same with programmers. But they will only sell those to me either with a frustrating "discussion" or with a controller...
Either way its a frustrating state of affairs. Tom Kilmore shouldnt have any bother. Letterheading, phone call, discussion and done!
The secret is to tell them exactly what you need it for, and be sure to mention a load of settings you need to configure to suit the motors (M. Comp, brake timing and voltages, torque settings, adjusting setting safety walls (limits) for users to aid stability, etc) so that they can see you are not just guessing and you understand why you need oem access. If they are sure you are safe they have no worries. If not, they mention not supplying companies, training courses etc...
Pgdt generally won't sell to the public.
Yes well... Have you spoke to the average member of the public? Or even most chair techs! You cant blame them for checking people out slightly.